For His Glory and Purpose...

Well, I'm two weeks into the new dosage of the chemo drugs & so far not bad. I've had a few side effects, but overall, this dose is MUCH better. Scarring on my face & chest is healing quickly - found a great product called Bio-Oil that serves as a moisturizer, line reducer (yea - I would be concerned about that!!) :) & as a scar minimizer as well. Gotta' love these multi-tasking products! Energy level is great & my endurance is coming back. Made a new friend the other day who is a personal trainer who specializes in people with disabilities and chronic illnesses. She affirmed, encouraged & refined my desire to stay active, pointing out things to focus on to build my endurance and stay strong...thanks Kathy!!

Over the past few weeks, God has allowed me to see more of how this theme of "Broken, Yet Beautiful" is so true...of how He is using my circumstances to touch others. So many people have shared with me through different means of what He has said to them through my words, songs, attitude. I have been moved to tears (of joy, gratitude and awe) that God could take anything that I have offered through this time & use it to touch people in totally different circumstances but yet so many of the same feelings. Thank you to those of you who have shared...I cannot tell you how deeply it blesses & moves me to hear your stories. I pray that the sharing will continue.

So many people have asked me how I maintain the positive attitude & outlook while fighting the battle of my life. I am grateful for the questions & never hesitate to answer honestly. I humbly admit to you that there are days (fewer now than at first) that I fail miserably at being positive & my outlook & emotions find their way to the negative. But each time, as at the very beginning of this, God comes to me as my Protector & Shield, lifts my head & honors me with His strength & peace. I will tell you openly that any strength, peace & ministry you find in me comes from God's divine power and through nothing in me. For this, I am more thankful every day. I felt this power the first night I heard the potential diagnosis & even in the midst of paralyzing fear, anger & grief in the following weeks, I drew from it. I knew in those first few hours that God would use this if I allowed Him to do so & expressed my desire to glorify His name through this trial. I felt the strangest sense of excitement about what God could accomplish through my having cancer. I continue to feel that excitement & sometimes have to restrain myself from rushing ahead of Him to the next thing.

He has taught me not only the how-to, but the true depth of meaning in "giving thanks in all things" and in "counting it all joy". Am I thankful that I have cancer? NO...but I am thankful for what He is teaching me & allowing me to do as a result. I accept that God has allowed this in my life for reasons I do not know & will not question. I am confident that as I surrender, He will use this in whatever way He sees fit to glorify His name. I am confident of His healing, in His time, in His way. How can I not be thankful that my mighty, glorious God would use my brokenness in such a beautiful way?

Pray for my continued surrender to His will to be done through this. I truly desire to set aside all of myself and let this be All about Him.

In His Care,

Tricia